爆笑围观：在华老外必备“蹲厕手册”

红酒配电影

The "western" toilet is making inroads into China and in big citiesand airports, you'll find a few of them in the row of toilets inthe bathroom. However, there are still lots and lots and lots ofsquatty potties and likely as not, you'll venture into one. It'snot as hard as it seems, but it's good to know what you're gettinginto before you go.。。　　“西方”座便式厕所现在已经在中国非常普遍了，大城市和机场里面基本都有，你也可以在浴室里面看到一排这样的厕所。然而，还是有超级超级超级多的蹲便式厕所存在着，如果你要去中国旅游了，那你可得试着冒冒险去用这样的厕所。不过其实也没有看起来那么难，但是学学怎么使用总是对你去中国旅游有点帮助。
　　1. Pack Tissues. Before you even leave the hotel, make sure you'vegot portable toilet paper with you. Lots of public restrooms don'tprovide it. Wet wipes and hand sanitizer are also good to havealong as if there's a sink, there may not be any soap, and probablyno towels either。
　　1. 装好卫生纸
　　你离开酒店之前一定要检查一下自己有没有带卫生纸，因为中国的厕所是没纸的哦。消毒纸巾和洗手液也可以带上，如果厕所里有水池的话你能用得上，因为这里的厕所很少会提供肥皂，当然也不用想擦手的卫生纸了。
　　2. Plan Your Business 1. "Preventive Peeing" or going before you gois a good way to avoid getting caught in a place that won't have anice toilet. (Nice doesn't necessarily mean Western by the way。)Pretend you're all five years old and make sure everyone goesbefore you leave the house。
　　2. 计划你的旅游A
　　“预防你的小便”或者说在你出发前你得想到你要去的地方可能没有一个让你觉得舒服的厕所(这里的舒服不是说只有俺们外国的才最舒服，中国的厕所其实没啥不好的)你就当自己是个五岁的小孩，出门前一定要尿尿。然后大家一起出发别落下任何一个人。
　　3. Plan Your Business 2. If you're going to be out and about, thinkabout where you'll be and try to plan some pit-stops in between.Especially in big cities, international hotels, upscale restaurantsand shopping malls will have clean washrooms with most of theamenities (toilet paper, Western toilets, soap and towels).Placesto avoid using the bathroom: large markets (especially outdoormarkets)， street-side public bathrooms (though they're improving)，tourist spots。
　　3. 计划你的旅游B
　　如果你要出门，考虑一下你要去的地方在哪，计划哪里可以有停车休息站。尤其是在大城市，一些国际连锁酒店，高档餐厅和购物商场里会有很干净的洗手间，那里一般都会提供我们需要的便捷措施(比如卫生纸，我们用的座便，肥皂和擦手巾)，不过请避免使用这些厕所：大超市(尤其是那种室外的超市)，路边的公共厕所(即使现在已经改善很多了)，还有就是旅游点的厕所。
　　4. Bag Hand-Off。
　　If you can, hand any unnecessary bags to a friend while you use thewashroom. There are generally no hooks and you'll need your handsto balance, to dig around your purse for tissues and to hold on tothe door if the lock is broken。
　　别带你的包
　　如果可以的话，去厕所前把你不必要的东西都让你的朋友保管，通常情况下这里没有挂钩让你挂包包，你要是拿着一堆东西去厕所你就得在里面努力保持平衡，然后在包里找你的卫生纸，如果那个门的锁坏了你还得把门扶着。
　　5. Queuing Up. If you find yourself outside the comfort of yourhotel, don't panic. It won't be unbearable. Queues in China don'twork the same way as they do in the States. Women generally line upin front of a particular stall rather than hang back as one opens.This can create a free-for-all so it's best to stick to one doorand keep your eye on it. If it happens not to be a Western toilet,better to get in there than re-queue. Many times, doors havepictures or signs indicating Western or squat-style toilets. Also,check the lock, if it's red, then it's occupied. Green means freebut always knock。
　　5. 排队这件事儿
　　如果你发现你自己已经不在那个舒服的旅店外了，别难过。这不是那么难忍受的事情。排队这件事在中国虽然不那么流行不过我们在美国也有不排队的时候不是吗。女厕所里面大家经常是一个个排在各个厕所前，并不是说在每个门前都晃来晃去等谁出来了就进去。所以说你得看准了自己等待的那个厕所位置并且一直盯着。如果前一位上完厕所出来你不幸的发现这不是座便器，我建议你最好还是进去吧，不然你又要重新排队了。不过很多情况下，门上面都会有标准注明那个是蹲厕那个是座便。还有一点要记着，上厕所前检查一下门锁，如果上面显示转到红色，那就是锁上了，要是绿色那就表明里面没人。
　　6. Pants Check. I don't want to scare you but some washrooms arerather wet - either from splash effect or the toilet maid (usuallythere is someone assigned to sit in the washroom and clean it)running amok with her mop. Either way, it's not moisture you wanton your new linen trousers. If it's wet, roll them up, especiallyif you're in line for a squat toilet. If you see other Chineseladies rolling, then be sure to. They know something youdon't。
　　6. 检查好你的裤子
　　我这不是要吓唬你，可是很多洗手间真的很潮湿，不管是飞溅的水弄的还是打扫卫生间的人(通常情况下每个洗手间会被分配有人打扫)疯狂甩着她的拖把弄的。我知道，这些水不是你想弄到你的新裤子上面的。如果说地上很湿的话，记得把你的裤腿卷起来。尤其是你在排队等你的座便厕所时。有个小窍门儿，你要是看到中国的女士把裤子都卷起来了，那你肯定要照做啦！她们知道的肯定比你多，学着点儿吧。
　　7. The Squat. OK, well, you've found yourself in a squatty potty.It's really not that bad and many argue it's actually healthier togo this way than sitting down. Whatever, if you're not used to it,squatting can be really difficult. Face forward and try to let yourpants down while ensuring that the ends are up (hopefully you'verolled) and not touching the floor. There are grooved places foryour feet on either side of the toilet. Try to get somewhere in themiddle, feet flat on the floor (you don't want to fall in, believeme) and aim for the potty。
　　7. 蹲下
　　好吧，试想你现在面对着一个蹲厕的坑坑。我得说一下，蹲厕没那么坏，很多人都说蹲厕比座便式厕所干净健康的多呢。无论如何吧，如果你不习惯用蹲厕，那么蹲下真的是个挺难的事儿。你需要面对前方然后确保你的裤脚卷子来之后再蹲下(希望你在等厕所那会就已经卷起来了)这样你的裤子就不会挨到地上了。在蹲厕两侧会有那种带纹路的地方是供你的脚踩的。试着把你的脚各放在它们的中间，脚踩稳了(相信我，你也不希望自己掉进去)最后要对准那个坑。
　　8. Paper Discard - Not in the Pot! Chinese plumbing in publicrestrooms generally doesn't handle paper. If you can remember,please put anything other than #1 or #2 in the basket. Try as hardas you can NOT to look at the basket, it's usually open and teemingwith things on which you'd rather not lay eyes。
　　8. 扔掉卫生纸
　　别扔坑里！中国的下水道可不是美国的下水道，它们没法搞定厕纸的。尽量扔到后面的纸篓里，不过记得，千万别回头看那个筐子！那些筐子永远都是被塞满了···那些用过的卫生纸···你懂得！别看！
　　9. Finish Up. Out you go, you accomplished squat toilet user.Unroll your pants, wash your hands, if you can, and find yourfriends waiting for you outside。
　　9. 结束
　　用完厕所，你已经完成了作为一个使用蹲厕的人的步骤。放下你的裤腿，洗干净手，然后找到在外面等你的朋友= =
                                       

就看到第二条，其实澳洲很多旅游景点的厕所也没有肥皂的